Hari gembira.

Okay, I admit. I expected to today to be as flawless as it can be. I've done my homework for Literature, and get things readied for today, baju and all. I really thought there ain't nothing that can disturb me today.

Things are cool in the exam, I sailed through the exam, as confident as I could. There's a slight bugging feeling in my conscience's detector, as I call it, though I disregarded that. Tgh bahagia lah org kata kan, dgn Literature yang kononnya best subject aku tu.

Then again, they say, don't boast. And don't count your eggs before they are hatched. And there's no such thing as a perfect day.

You just can't have too much of a good thing. Haha. Karma mungkin.

Aku da setel makan, tido, bukak FB. Ade carrymark, multimedia. Scanned through, and guess what, I was the lowest. And kalau markah tu tak jauh2 antara yang lain takpe tau. Ni aku sorg ber-digit 3 kat situ, wherein org lain suma 40+. A fecking 10 marks.

Okay mula mula chill la. Final still ade. Tapi badan dah gigil da. Dunno if it was from anger, sadness, disappointment, aku pun tak tau. And then I realized I can't contain it any longer. Airmata dah berlumba lumba nak jatuh da ni. So aku pun, as per usual, sorok kat balkoni, my lil 'sanctuary' la konon nye. People seldom go there anyway. Esther je la yg td ade sbb nak angkat baju, tu pun aku reluctantly ignored her sbb tak nak burst to tears right there and then.

Tak perlu terang kot ape aku buat kat situ. A little drizzle on my lovely afternoon. Serius aku rasa cam bodoh gila. Okay, multimedia may not be my forte, but come on, I know I'm not that dumb enough utk markah jadi cam babi cm tu. Possibilities mungkin ade assignments yg aku tak submit or wtv, tapi too little too late to regret, right? Assignments time's already gone. Its finals now. Nak tak nak kena face the music la. Nak pegi tanya En Shah balik asal markah aku cmtu? Sori tapi aku tak sanggup. My pride says that its my fault, and don't blame it to others. Assignment tak hantar? Padan lah muka. Sape suruh tak hantar. You reap what you sow. And honestly, malu kot. Sebab benda tu ultimately akan jadi salah aku.Kalau aku tanya pun, it'd still be my fault. So ape guna memalukan diri sendiri kalau dah tau tu salah sendiri?

Or in other words, I'm just too damn prideful for my own good.

Tapi serius aku rasa diri pathetic gila. Haha. Orang lain suma main2 jugak mcm aku. Takde pulak dpt markah mcm tu. Same goes for Japanese. Eceh konon pandai la Jepun, tgk anime bagai. Jap gi carrymark jahanam jugak. Kadang kadang aku rasa nak keluar drpd badan aku sendiri and laugh at myself. Gila pathetic. Overconfidence kills you. Ntah2 Lit aku pun nnt jadi cmni. Haha. Kalau betul jadi serius pathetic la seh. Aku rasa guilty gila kat mak aku. She says, belajar betul2, ibu da amikkan Note 2. Now, what did i get? The worst possible thing. Rasa mcm nak cancel je on the note. I don't deserve it.

Tu la, orang lain sume blajar, kau tak blajar. Konon pandai sgt. Konon last minute learner. Tak payahlah Sarah. Dah bangang tu bangang je la. Tak payah nak konon pandai sangat.
Padan muka. Kan dah dapat balasannya.

------------------------------- deep breath --------------------------------

Okay end of self deprecating post. Now, no choice but to go through this ordeal. Be tough, thats all you just have to do. Jangan nangis, nothing will come out of that. Belajar. Bak kata Seha, hardwork will never betray you.

And just calm the fuck down.

P.S: Saya meminta maaf jika hari ni saya menyakiti hati sesiapa. Okay? Terima kasih kerana memahami. :)

Tatkala...

Tatkala kau rasa awkward gila.
Okay, mungkin tak, maybe its just me and my paranoia.

Aku... sebenarnya takde nak cakap ape pun. Sebenarnya boring, sbb well, simply sebab aku boring. Its 4 am in the morning and I'm still not asleep. Simple as that.

Tapi agak2 kalau kau operate kepala aku ni, banyak gile menda serabut yang kau rasa time kau bukak tu kau nak tutup balik and never want to see em again.

Aku paranoid dgn dia. Sebab bila kau dah tersayang tersangat, you can't help but feel like this. Perhaps.
Orang len aku tataw lak canner. Dan bila scale itu berat sebelah, something unpleasant might happen. Mungkin.

Yang lain, well, banyak benda lain lagi ekshelli tapi tu mungkin lain hari lain masa lain ketika.

K dah, aku meraban ape pun akku tataw so baik aku tido.

Ta.

Insomnia

Ever had that particular moment bila kau rasa sedih gila tapi kau tak boleh nangis?

Rasa sakit aty kan? Yeah, tu la yang aku rasa skrg. Wai? Jap agy aku citer. maybe.

Kenapa aku takleh nangis you ask? Sebab aku taknak nangis, really. I mean, I'm not alone in the room. Mau si Yana dok terkkujat tgk aku tetiba nanges memalam. So tak nak la gempar aku histeria pulak kan. Haha.

Anyway, aku tgh ber cornflake  i mean, konflik (sorry aku tgh lapar) sikit. Dengan siapa? Aku rasa kau tawu kot. So paham2 jela.

Kena pulak dua2 tengah berangin. Memang tak la kan nak slow down ke ape. Seb bek dua2 reti bhasa. Letak phone b4 anything breaks out. Or as the Westeners call it, before hell breaks loose.

Well, hell didn't break loose. My tears did. Tapi tu la cam aku ckp, aku takleh nangis and frankly, aku tension. I need to let these pent up emotion out somehow.

That aside. aku insomniac hari ni. Like serious aku xleh tido. So aku sumbat telinga dgr lagu Adele, hopefully boleh tido. Or susah sangat all nighter je la kan. tapi memang tak la nak buat assignment kejadah kan. Kepala tgh serabut kot. Think I'll go watch anime or something. Alang2 wifi dah repair.

Anyway, esok kalau aku moody semacam, paham2 lah ~ jangan risau, aku moody sat je. Paling2 satu hari~

K dah, cukup membebel kot. Haha. Au revoir :)

A fortnight babysitter~

Yes yes, it's been a heck of a long time. Sorry.. been really........... lazy xD
aaannywayy, I ended my Foundation safely already and was accepted to UTM for my degree~ YAY xD

But today, the story is not that.

Its about me being a  babysitter.

Yep, a babysitter.

For approx 2 weeks.

And being someone who never really took care of kids, it's hella tiring, I tell you.

Alright, so I have a very cute niece. Scratch that, two cute nieces~ and they're staying over for 2 weeks till sis is out from her days of confinement.

So lemme introduce the lil cuties~

First and foremost: The elder sister, named Yasmin Farhana.

Alright~! Ni lah dye Yasmin Farhana. A very active one year old toddler, I got my hands full with her!

She tends to be quite cute tho, so sometimes I don't mind if I have to take care of her. She learns quickly, and her favorite things are Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Boboi Boy's theme song, her small teddy that have been with her since she was born, and a green ball she likes to play with. A trick I learned to shut her up when she cries is to play ball with her. She'll still cry a bit, but she'll quiet down eventually ;) She had a loud voice, a trait inherited from her mum's side of the family, and she resembles her father a lot. (tho I say otherwise xD)

Right now she's sleeping, so I have some free time to surf the net. xD

Secondly, the little sister; Fatihah Maisara;

(ignore the caption lol)

This is taken when she was just a day old. A veeerryyy cute baby, and don't give much fuss, so she's a fairly easy baby to take care off. Then again, my job is more to Yasmin rather than Fatihah, cuz the latter is taken care by sis. She sleeps a lot, and only wakes up when she's hungry (then again, all babies do that, rite?).

Similarly like her sister, when she cries, she's capable of waking the whole house up lol xD

So yeah, my fortnight's schedule (starting from a few days ago) is tweaked a bit. I slept hella late, often after sahur, or else I won't wake up xD and wake up around 11 or 12 to mind the shop. Occasionally I'll be washing their milk bottles, putting them to sleep, playing with them till they're exhausted and pretty much what a normal babysitter do.

Hav to say tho, it's quite tiring to mind them when I'm fasting, but since I can't skip on both, I just go with it. And hey, I'm part of their family, so a bit of helping out is part of my responsibility anyway. So I'm good with it~

So that's it for today, I'm going to take a bit of a nap, to conserve some energy when the little bundle of hyperness wakes up to play. :P

YAY!An update! xD

Haha, yes yes I kniow,,, its been a long time since I've updated. Well, can't blame me, I got super super busy these days. Cuz, guess what? I'm now in my 4th week of college life~ hhehe~ Feels great to be a university student. To those who have read my previous entries, yup, I got accepted into UiTM Lendu, taking on Foundation of TESL. Everyday I learn English, English, and more English. Is it hard? Hmm, I'd say, 50/50 ;)

Anyway, life here in college is good in my point of view :) I got lots of new friends, got to know cool seniors, and learn to be independent~ ^^ Sure, I, like others, did not adapt as soon as I get here. There's always the time to adjust oneself to new surroundings~

I'm currently in my friends's room, not yet asleep despite having a class on 8.30 am tomorrow. haha. Ah well, things will work out, somehow. =P My little toe is also hurt, as I got a blister there. It hurts... :( but, I can still walk and stuff, so no big deal~^^

Well, I think that will be it for now. I REALLY got to go to sleep or else I won't wake up tomorrow. Hahaha.

Goodnight all. :)

First Interview

Right~ today is the 1st interview of ma life xD Okay, that was nerve wrecking... I mean, it's my first choice, my first interview and all... who wouldn't be nervous right? Anyway, I can't talk for much today, I gtg prepare myself for da interview. I woke up super early for it xD well, wush me luck~^^

Asasi TESL UiTM

Right. Keyword for today, I'm confused. I was sent a notification message from UiTM, that I was accepted for an interview for the TESL course there, at Shah Alam. So I tried to confirm the notif with the internet and guess what? the letter on the net said that the date for the interview is on the 16 th of April. That's like a long time ago. =.= but the SMS notif said that I were to go on the interview on 25 th of April. So, which one is true actually? I was ransacking the whole net to see whether there is a second call for the interview, and I'm still searching. Curse the me who forgot to check up on the TESL interviews.

But well, even if I don't get this one, I still got the maktab interview, though of course, it was my 2nd choice...I so badly wnant the TESL course, but if I were too late.... then, well... maybe it wasn't meant for me... ;.;

Okay enough rant. I'm off to go searching around the net once more. See ya! And wish me luck if I get to go to both of the interviews,kay? :)